I wonder whether it is the holiday stress or the pressure of year-end, but the topic of ‘people will not like me’ keeps coming up.
Does it bother you that you will not be liked by your colleagues/family/friends if you do or don’t do something?
It is very human to want to be liked by our fellow humans. At the same time, it is good to reflect on how it serves you. If your actions are determined by the desire to please, it is possible that the same people you are trying to keep happy find you indecisive or not confident enough and may not respect you.
Earlier this week, I shared an article from HBR about how one can release themselves from the need for validation. Here are some benefits of the freedom that you give yourself from the ‘need to be liked and appreciated’ all the time –
- You can really get in touch with yourself and know what you think, how you feel, and what you want to do. You can do what you like and what you think is the right thing to do. You can be true to yourself.
- You give yourself the power to say ‘no’. You start setting better boundaries and making space for your priorities when you are willing to be ‘not liked’ all the time.
- You inspire others by being authentic and courageous. You set an example for them.
- You make deeper connections when you dare to be who you are rather than who you think people want you to be. You interact with people without any expectations and transcend transactional relationships.
- You can aim higher. When your goal is not to please others or get a compliment, you can set your eyes on a goal that is really fulfilling for you and makes you a better person/professional.
Do you know people make their first impression of anything within 7 seconds? So whether you do something or say something or not, people will have an opinion about you. They may think you are arrogant, full of yourself, meek, diffident, or inspirational. Why not own your narrative and follow your heart? You owe it to yourself.
Are you ready to release the stress of other people’s opinions?